Dark Duck 19: Gosalyn Mallard Returns to Zombie Acres
by VAPX007
Summary: Gosalyn is rewriting a recent Darkwing Duck case for her English assignment. What case does she pick? Of course, it's the Case of the Nutty Necromancer. A total creature-feature with a rotating guest list including demons, vampires, zombies, Morgana's family and will someone please give Negaduck a weapon. Adventure/Horror/Humour/Family
1. Ch 1 P1 The Size of It

_Disclaimer: I don't own Darkwing Duck. Surprised?_

* * *

**GOSALYN MALLARD RETURNS TO ZOMBIE ACRES (By Gosalyn Mallard)**

* * *

CHAPTER ONE

* * *

**PART 1**

* * *

**The Size of It**

* * *

'It was a dark and stormy night. The fog was thick and made all the streetlamps look like puny fireflies.'

_Gosalyn Mallard read the fruits of her labours as she stood in front of the TV. It was Saturday after dinner and she'd been slaving away all day on this assignment and she was ready for her dad's input._

'Darkwing Duck was chasing a hooligan who'd smashed a window, when a funny feeling came over him. The crime fighter stiffened, unable to move. Then ... everything went black.'

* * *

_'That was not the way it happened!' Her contrary dad interrupted._  
_Gosalyn groaned, 'Come on, dad, it's just a story.'_  
_'Using my case file!' Drake retorted from the living room sofa. 'A little accuracy can go a long way.'_  
_'Gee, dad.' Gosalyn said cheekily, 'But what if the teacher thinks it's so accurate that my dad really is Darkwing Duck?'_  
_He scoffed. 'That's no excuse for being careless. As for the whole "stormy night" thing you want to skip on the cliché's as much as possible.'_  
_'It's not like I'm taking it to a publisher or anything and like you're one to talk.' Gosalyn rolled her eyes. 'Besides I was just setting the mood.'_

_'Anyway, isn't this story supposed to be about you, not me?'_  
_Gosalyn paused and flicked through her notebook back to the English question. 'Write a story about your favourite subject. It could be your favourite toy or movie.' She looked up at him. 'So I've titled it "Gosalyn Mallard Returns to Zombie Acres" by Gosalyn Mallard.'_  
_'Gosalyn Mallard.' Drake repeated her name. 'As I plainly recall "this" particular story all began late one school night in the video arcade.'_  
_'It wasn't that late, dad, it was-.'_  
_'It was after dark on a school night without Launchpad or me around to keep you safe.' His eyes gleamed at her._  
_Gosalyn sighed in defeat and sat down at the coffee table with a cushion under her. With her sharpened pencil in hand she opened her notebook to a fresh page._

* * *

_'It all started when two boys ... I'd better change their names ... Freddie and Georgie ... challenged me and Honker to a showdown after dinnertime with all hands on deck. With a handful of aces and a pocketful of arcade pennies, I accepted the easy challenge and soon enough all four of us kids had snuck out after dinner and were there at the arcade. The lights were low and the game machines stood back to back and side by side as the lights blinked colourfully and the tunes sang cheerfully.'_

"Come on, Honker, you can do it!" Gosalyn cheered him on as Honker came face to face with the evil Crow henchmen of Cetti Alpha Three. Gosalyn watched Honker blast the enemy space ships.

"Woo, you beat him, Honker, he's still on level 4!"  
"Rats!" Georgie cursed as he crashed his last ship. The penny arcade game sang electronically.

Everyone was watching Honker now and a few minutes later his video screen flashed with 'Game Over!' The penny arcade game sang electronically and asked him for his name to add to the high score board.

"Oh, yeah! Honker Muddlefoot: champion of outer space!" Gosalyn turned to Freddie behind. "Ah, excuse me; I believe you owe me five bucks." The boy grunted and miserably parted with the dough. Gosalyn clapped her pal's back. "Come on Honker, time to celebrate!"

They pulled away from the semi-abandoned Arcadian.

"Gosalyn, we really need to go home. We shouldn't be out here at all, it's a school night." Honker pushed his glasses back up his nose. "In fact, I still can't believe you actually talked me into ..."  
"Not now, Honker, we're going to celebrate." Gosalyn ignored his argument and waved the five dollar note in his face. "Super sized slushies." She turned and he followed on her heels.

Honker resigned himself to following her. "How'd you know I could beat him?"  
"Honker, Honker, Honker!" Gosalyn tsked. "Why are you always so hard on yourself?" She patted him on the back and then ushered him into the Last Minute store next door to the arcade.

Mr. Terrance the store manager gazed down at them from behind the counter. He was a kid-friendly guy, tall with a mild look on his face like he'd stood behind that counter so many evenings that just maybe some of his brain had gone to slush like the ice in the whirligig drinks machine. Unfortunately for Gosalyn's mood, Mr Terrance was also a parent-friendly guy.

"Do your parents know where you are?" He asked Gosalyn and Honker who'd barely made it though the door yet.  
"Come on, Mr. Terrance," Gosalyn argued, "I don't see a security guard on the door, and we're old enough to be out by ourselves."

It didn't seem like the adult believed her very much; standing there like he was, slowly thinking about what he should be doing right now. Rather than wait for him to figure it out, Gosalyn decided to take a more proactive approach.

"Paying customers," she sang, waving the five dollar bill at him.  
"Now, I didn't think you'd come in here loitering, little girl, but ..."  
"Two large rainbow slushies thanks." Gosalyn ordered.

Mr. Terrance turned away to the drinks machine. Gosalyn's sheer determination and will had triumphed once again.  
"He's got a point, Gos." Honker started up again. "What if your dad finds us missing?"  
"Dad works a graveyard shift. He's not likely to show." Gosalyn answered.

"Here you are, young Gosalyn. Now, can I get you a phone so you can call your parents to pick you up?"  
"Er, actually that..." Honker began.  
"We're fine, thank you." Gosalyn cut Honker off and handed Mr. Terrance the five dollar note and grabbed her drink.

She turned away, fuming. "What is this, a conspiracy? If I was a bit taller, I wouldn't have this problem." Gosalyn stormed over to the only little cafe booth in the store that just so happened to be under the shopfront window.  
"Your dad says you're short because you eat so much junk food."  
"No way; what does he know? Plus I'm the same size as you."  
"I don't eat much." Honker reminded her, "Tank hogs all the second helpings."  
"Anyway, dad ate junk food too when he was a kid, you can bet that, Honker. It's just he doesn't like admitting when he's wrong."

Honker went very solemn. "He sure doesn't eat a lot of junk food now." He mentioned.

His words reminded Gosalyn of the fact that just a few months ago her dad had turned into a vampire and now he couldn't drink soda-pop anymore. The 'vampire thing' came up in weird places; like in the supermarket when he left Gosalyn's side when their trolley reached the meat section. It was the smell of quietly rotting flesh that really drove him nuts. Logically, rationally, philosophically and even existentially the idea of meat didn't bother him. So from a sensitive stomach of before to a sensitive stomach now, not a lot had really changed and he was still a good guy.  
Gosalyn answered quietly. "He's alright."

They slurped their drinks for a few moments in silence, playing with the larger ice crystals with their straws amidst the bread and shampoo specials and looking out on the street.

From out of the distance there was the roaring sound of a motorcycle engine coming closer.

"Get down!" Gosalyn grabbed Honker and they hid beneath the table as the sound roared by the window. They waited, listening in heart pounding anticipation as the motorcycle noise grew distant again.

Honker blew his nose suddenly and Gosalyn squawked in fright.

"Honker!" She complained. "Did you have to do that right then?"  
"Is it time to go home now?" Honker asked coolly, putting his handkerchief back in his pocket.  
"Alright, so that was a close one, I've got to admit." Gosalyn backed down from her previous bravado a little. "I suppose it's time to go home, anyway." She looked up at the clock on the wall behind the Slushy machine. It said nine o'clock. She looked below the clock to see Mr. Terrance at the counter. He had an amused expression on his face as he blinked back at her.

With a grunt Gosalyn grabbed her slushy and checked Honker was behind her before she went out the door and they started off home.

"Wise guy." Gosalyn snorted quietly to herself as they trekked back home.  
"Who? The boys at the arcade?" Honker asked.  
"No, the milk bar guy. I bet he was a vampire."  
"Will you p-please stop talking about vampires?"  
"But it's true." Gosalyn dumped her backpack on the sidewalk underneath a streetlamp. "Why'd you think I lug this bag around everywhere lately?"  
"Uh, because you've suddenly taken an interest in homework?" That was Honker trying to be funny.  
Gosalyn straightened, "I don't believe we've met." She held out her hand. "I'm Gosalyn Mallard and you are?"

Honker didn't answer; he just looked carefully at her backpack. "I have no idea why you've started carrying your backpack everywhere." He said seriously.  
"Because ..." She opened up her metal pencil case and showed him her set of sharp pencils amidst the gleaming metal of the tin before snapping it shut and shrugging her back pack on again. "I don't want to be caught unprepared."  
"You wouldn't be caught at all if you got home before dark." Honker reminded her.  
"Now there's a zero fun way of living." Gosalyn said.

"You live longer."  
"I'm not sure if you can apply mathematics to this situation, Honker." Gosalyn advised.  
"Well, not unless it's algebra."

Honker raced to keep up with her as they approached their houses. "So what's it like having a vampire for a dad?"

Gosalyn shrugged, "Not much different. Being undead doesn't change someone. With dad, the reality is that now he's a vampire, he just goes out there and finds vampire sized problems and takes them on instead." She sighed. "I even bought one of your dad's Quackerware containers and a mini-brush; just to be sure I could rescue him if the worst happened."  
"I thought that was just your hair brush." That was Honker being funny again.  
Gosalyn snorted. "Goodnight, champ. Killer moves tonight."  
"Thanks, Gosalyn."

Gosalyn turned down the driveway and snuck back inside just as though she'd never left.

* * *

_Gosalyn put her pencil down on the fold of her notebook and looked expectantly at her dad, 'so how was that for setting the scene?'_  
_'It's tons more accurate now.' Her father approved. 'Also, establishing vampires in the first scene lends credibility to the rest of the story.'_  
_Gosalyn shrugged, 'Yeah, but it's gone a bit camp though.'_  
_'Gosalyn, your story is about zombies. Do you really want to scare your teacher into early retirement?'_  
_Gosalyn sniggered, 'That'd be way cool.'_

_Drake rolled his eyes, 'Go on, Gosalyn, as I recall we are now up to the not-stormy night part.'_  
_'Right,' Gosalyn looked down at her notes again. 'Um, let's see.' She tapped her pencil on her beak, 'how does "meanwhile" sound? Meanwhile, dad?'_  
_'How do you normally tell a story, Gos? It's not much different on paper.'_  
_Gosalyn struggled with the connective. 'I give up.'_

* * *

_'Meanwhile, little did Gosalyn Mallard know, little did the young Gosalyn Mallard know, but right at this time Darkwing Duck was getting into troubles of his own. Not your ordinary street hooligan sized troubles, but ... vampire sized troubles.'_


	2. Ch 1 P2 Evidence of Possession

**GOSALYN MALLARD RETURNS TO ZOMBIE ACRES (By Gosalyn Mallard)**

* * *

CHAPTER ONE

* * *

**PART 2**

* * *

**Evidence Of Possession**

* * *

_'The trans-dimensional portal into St Canard isn't one that many of the more intelligent demons favour. There's a reason for everything, whether that reason makes sense or not is a different bowl of crackers. Even though St Canard is a large city and its multitude of citizens make it as deliciously attractive as a giant rainbow flavoured sundae, there's a distinct problem. It is also home to a satellite hub for the great vampire support network. The support network has existed for a few centuries now. S__tatus quo between vampires and kine is the watchword in St Canard and thanks to this efforts of everyone involved, the city at large is peaceful, calm, and unsuspecting._

_To the demon known only as "Guachi", all this meant was "time for dinner"._

_Hidden in an abandoned corner of St Canard's grand central underground train station was the ritual summoning chamber. Replacing the failed electric lights were wick lamps. They were set on top of heavy metal stands and stood around the room, at the entrance and down the corridor beyond. There was a big circle painted on the back wall with a five-pointed triangle in the centre._

_The guy operating the portal had an average height, standing in a monk's robe and holding a brand new staff. Behind him, he had four people, including an average sized dog dressed in a fire fighter's orange overalls, and a short duck in a grey-tone outfit with a matching black cape and grey fedora.'_

* * *

_'Short. That's all you have to say to describe me; Short?'_

_Gosalyn smiled sweetly at her father, 'Doesn't affect you from a psychological point of view in the slightest though, does it dad?'_

_Drake clenched his teeth, 'Do go on, child of mine who is still but half my height.'_

* * *

"Here are four undead vampires for you to choose from, your lowness." The Necromancer said in an undefined British accent. He bowed to the demon entering through the portal. It was see-through in a ghostly shape of whitish blue-."

* * *

_'Gosalyn, we don't know what colour the demon was without a host body.'_

_'Da-ad, quit interrupting!' Gosalyn complained, 'Nobody knows except Yamie but I've got to explain that scene because it was really weird and complicated-.'  
__'I'm all for pertinent details.'  
__'Scenery, dad.' Gosalyn told him sternly, 'If there's a tree, I need to write a tree. And Miss Songson told us we get extra marks for putting lots of description in.'_

_'In that case,' Drake backpedaled, 'ghostly white and blue sounds great. And you might also want to mention the floor was wet because of a busted water pipe and that the council had mysteriously lost several workers sending them down into that section to fix it over the past few days.'  
__'Oh, yeah, like you noticed all that while the Necromancer had hijacked your brain. Anyway, the council workers don't show up till way later in the zombie scenes so that bit isn't important right now.' Gosalyn snorted._

_'I hate zombies.' Drake shuddered. 'You know I have over a thousand case files that you could have chosen from and you've helped me out plenty of times. Why does it have to be the one about the Nutty Necromancer?'  
__'Because this story has it all!' Gosalyn exclaimed excitedly, 'It's the height of heights, the lowest of the lows, romance, betrayal, danger and an action packed climax filled with zo-ombie slaying! By yours truly; Gosalyn Mallard.'_

_Drake chuckled, 'Okay, kiddo, go on then.'_

* * *

_'Anyway, the demon known as Guachi had thought itself lucky to have gotten into correspondence with a negotiating Necromancer from this realm, and was pleased to see everything going according to schedule when it came through the trans-dimensional portal.'_

"And where did you find these, Yamie?" Guachi asked.  
"They were hunting, of course. I would never present a customer with weak vampires." Yamie the contract Necromancer answered.

"What is this one?" Guachi looked at the first vampire. He had a tall dog stature and was dressed in a strange orange and yellow outfit, with a huge helmet over his head.  
"That is a firefighter. This one is a security guard." Jamie pointed at the short duck beside him.  
"How dull." Guachi considered the glassy eyes and empty expressions. They were all currently under the Necromancer's mind control.

"This one is strange." He considered the one on the end that was dressed in grey and black, wearing a grey mask and a floppy oversized hat.  
"That's a vigilante. Actually he looks a bit like that annoying Negaduck that-."  
"A what!" Guachi had an instant fit of nerves.  
"Well, it's not as though you have to take up their occupation, if it doesn't suit you." Yamie advised, "You can do something else."

The Necromancer pointed to the last of the four. "That one is a lawyer." He pointed at the third one in the line, another tall dog like the fire fighter.  
"That is a more reasonable occupation, but I don't like the cut of him." Guachi shuddered at the gangly, scruffy-looking dog creature in the suit. "The ducks have more compact forms. I'm less likely to trip over my feet."

Guachi considered the two ducks, the security guard and the vigilante for a long while. "I've decided." Guachi stated. "I choose that one." The mass of unformed bio-kinetic energy pointed at Darkwing Duck.

* * *

_'Retrospect is a great thing.' Drake mused, sitting on the sofa looking down at Gosalyn, 'The only two people who knew at the time were those two conferring conspirators.'  
__'Shh, dad!' Gosalyn roused with her pencil in her hand. 'Do you have any idea what would happen if I handed in my story with your alliteration?'  
__'Oh, so you've finally learnt the perils of plagiarism. Honker will be relieved.'_

_Drake stood up, 'Drink?'  
__Gosalyn smiled up at him from her seat at the coffee table, 'Oh, a malt shake would be great, dad; thanks!'_

_'Coming right up.' He tousled her fringe before heading off to the kitchen._


	3. Ch 1 P3 My Dad

**GOSALYN MALLARD RETURNS TO ZOMBIE ACRES (By Gosalyn Mallard)**

* * *

CHAPTER ONE

* * *

**PART 3**

* * *

**My Dad**

* * *

_Drake handed down the malt shake to Gosalyn and made himself comfortable on the sofa again. 'How goes the tale of the- I mean- "Gosalyn Mallard Returns to Zombie Acres"?'_

_Gosalyn slurped on her frothy drink, 'Yum. Good.' She smiled at him and grabbed up her notebook._

* * *

_'The next morning Drake Mallard woke up in his bed at home with a sense of foreboding. He stepped over the red roller skate as he crossed the hallway. Size five, of course. He tapped it with his foot and it rolled across the floor back to his daughter's closed door.'_

Drake knocked on Gosalyn's door out of habit even though he already knew that she wasn't in there. She was at school and let him sleep in so he wouldn't see how tired she was because she'd been out late the night before. He opened the door and reviewed the mess in her room. It wasn't a mess, as such. It was a dumping ground where she kept everything till the next time she was using it. He considered cleaning it up, but resisted, and shut the door. It wasn't a real problem, there was nothing rotting or growing mould in there, it was just permanently disorderly.

Down the stairs and into the kitchen, Drake saw beside the fridge the oranges in the fruit bowl. 'Yum, juice,' he thought and fetched a knife from the cutlery drawer.

* * *

_'How's that, dad?'_

_'Nice work, Agatha Christie.' He answered, 'Although you might have to explain to your teacher about your poetic license in making your dad into Darkwing Duck.'_

_'Not at all, dad,' Gosalyn replied in certainty. 'All the teachers at school are convinced that my poetic license is out of control ten ways from Sunday.' She giggled. 'Just the way I like to be.'_

_He smiled back at her, 'You be who you want to be, kiddo. Got any more?'_

_'Naturally,' Gosalyn answered, taking another slurp of her malt shake and looked down at her notebook again._

* * *

That afternoon Gosalyn banged the front door as she came home like she usually did. "Hi dad, I'm home." She yelled up the stairs. Then, with her afternoon hunger she prowled into the kitchen and that's where she found her dad.

Gosalyn stared at him, not believing what she was seeing. Her dad was sharpening knives. "Uh, dad, what are you doing?"  
He blinked at her. "I'm sharpening knives, sweetie."  
"D'uh. I mean ... why?"

Drake Mallard was the champion of right and downright rightness. It was he who insisted Gosalyn always flossed, he who never let her near a fire axe, he who never ever kept fireworks in the house, and the single most lethal substance that lived in their home was his dreaded homemade mouthwash.

So, knowing all this about her father Gosalyn was instantly worried. "We don't keep sharp knives in the house, what are you doing?" She forcibly removed the steel from his hand.  
"I just thought it was always frustrating, cutting everything up with a blunt knife. I know how you complain when you're cutting up your roasts."  
"Well, right now I'm not arguing over the fact that the knives are blunt. Were blunt," she gazed at him. "What's the big deal to you? You don't eat meat anymore."  
"But my little girl does," he said in his annoying babying voice. Then he put down the knife and patted her head before wandering over to the lounge room.

Gosalyn dumped the knife back in the cutlery drawer and looked at the rest of the knives. All of them were now gleaming sharp. Clearly her father had been at it all afternoon. Gosalyn knew she should've been happy about finally being able to cut her steak up easily, rather than chew on large chunks like a canine, but she had a gut feeling something was off with her father's mild-mannered alter ego. He was a little too mild-mannered. This was the kind of thing people did in the movies right before they went about slaughtering unsuspecting family members. Just fortunately, Drake Mallard had none of those.

Gosalyn Mallard was on the case. If Darkwing Duck had a screw loose, she'd be right there to stop the catastrophe. She was going to follow him wherever he went.

* * *

_Gosalyn looked up at her dad. 'I was going to talk about the tracking receiver and Launchpad helping me and stuff.' She told him, 'But I figure that's too confusing so I've crossed it out.'_  
_'I think it's good the way it is.' He answered, 'So long as you don't mention the whole disappearing reappearing act.'_  
_'You mean the reason why you got it for me in the first place?'_

_Her father smiled at her. 'You know, this story is a lot better than I remember it. It shows what a responsible young adult my little girl is growing into.'_  
_'Dad, cut it out.' Gosalyn blushed. 'I've got a problem though, because you did disappear for a while.'_  
_'Oh, boy, and was that never fun.' Drake grumbled. 'So why not just skip out your part? Leave it ambiguous?'_

_'Well, I'll try.' Gosalyn looked down at her notes and took another big slurp of her malt shake before continuing on with her pencil._


	4. Ch 1 P4 Trick of the Light

**GOSALYN MALLARD RETURNS TO ZOMBIE ACRES (By Gosalyn Mallard)**

* * *

CHAPTER ONE

* * *

**PART 4**

* * *

**Trick of the Light**

* * *

"Get him!"

Darkwing Duck whirled around too late, and was inundated with assailants.

* * *

_'That's a passive voice sentence.' Drake suddenly interrupted.__  
_'Passive?' Gosalyn frowned at her page. 'What?'_  
_'The subject performs the action.'_  
_'But you're more important than those guys in that sentence.'_  
_'But there are two phrases in the sentence.'_  
_'How do I fix it? And without alliteration, thanks?'_  
_'You could try "Darkwing Duck whirled around too late as assailants inundated him".'_  
_'Cool.' Gosalyn corrected her sentence. 'It's great having a dad who's an English pro.'_  
_'I'm not a pro at anything, Gos; my intelligence is in my eclecticism.'_  
_'I thought you said you were a maverick?'__

_'I can be both. Anyway, I'm sorry for interrupting about your grammar. I won't do it again. Back to your story.'_

* * *

_'A short time later the captured Darkwing Duck was shackled to a huge concrete wall in the depths of the Hamil Corporation offices.'_

* * *

_'Why not make up a name instead?' Drake interrupted, 'You're making me nervous.'_

_'What should I call it then?' Gosalyn accepted, 'Oh, I know; how about an acronym? Let's see ... what did I call it earlier?' She flicked through her notes. 'The great vampire support network. GVSN.'__  
_'Sounds like a television studio.'_  
_'Perfect.' Gosalyn declared and crossed out the name and wrote GVSN above it. 'A fictional organisation to lend incredulity and disbelief to the Drake Mallard slash Darkwing Duck alter ego phenomenon. No one will believe me now!' She giggled.__

_Drake laughed, 'Even better.'_

* * *

"Hiyah there, Darkwing Duck." A fire-fighter said from beside him, soft-spoken, also shackled to the wall. Darkwing studied him. "Never figured you to be a vampire."  
"Why is that?" Darkwing asked faintly.  
"Well, I figured it'd be darn hard not to eat what you catch."  
"Well, I don't, and I don't and then I don't ..." the vigilante gritted his beak. "I ... just don't see why it's so hard to believe."

Darkwing turned to review his other fellow prisoner, this one a lawyer he happened to know. "Hi, Rex."  
"Hi, Darkwing. Nice job with Megavolt."  
"I didn't do so much. I was unconscious for most of it."  
"Do you think he'll lapse?" The lawyer asked.  
"No, he's too happy in his new life." Darkwing answered with confidence. "Nice job with Crowbar, by the way. I won't be seeing him again for a while."  
"Thanks."

"Darkwing Duck?"

Darkwing turned to face the front and saw no less but the top vampire of GSVN looking back at him. "So! You're the one behind all this? I should have known."

* * *

_'You were circumspect with your notes right here, dad. You're usually really good.'_  
_'Gosalyn, we are talking about a vampire both large and in charge. You don't write the name, you don't even say the name. It's so risky you try not to even remember the name.'_

_'Never mind, it's creepier this way with a bit of mystery sauce.'__  
_'It's creepier every which way!' Drake rubbed the back of his neck, 'Moving on?__

* * *

"Yes, I'm sorry for the inconvenience to all of you." The vampire head of GVSM said. You see we have two problems." She paced the length of the room. "One, we have an escaped demon, known as Guachi. I've been hunting it for a little while."

"And how does a crime fighter, a fire-fighter and a lawyer fit into this picture?" Darkwing Duck asked.  
"I'm not just any lawyer, thank you! I'm from the justice department!" The lawyer interrupted.  
"Er, sorry. I meant attorney."

"Because I've traced Guachi back to you. Unfortunately, you all smell of Guachi, telling me you've all had contact with it. Think back, can any of you remember everything over the last two, three nights?"

They all three struggled to remember in vain.

* * *

_Gosalyn paused. 'I love this part.'__  
_'Funnily enough I don't.' Drake grabbed a cushion to hug. 'I hate this part.'_  
_'I dunno, dad.' Gosalyn said cheerily, 'It's a great reflection on Darkwing Duck.'__

_'Except for the part of being a vampire where every second vampire I meet in the street asks me not for my autograph but for the secret to chasing something without biting it.' He grumbled. 'Don't ever set a vampire to chase you, Gosalyn, don't run. Don't even back off until whatever that's going on between you is settled.'_

_'I know, dad, and while I always love hearing your safety lectures, I'm kind of in the middle of my masterpiece right now.'_

_'Please, continue, Mary Shelley.'_

* * *

"One of you is possessed by Guachi." The security chief explained, appearing from behind the head vampire.  
Darkwing did a quick check on his eclectic knowledge of demons. "Then we'd be acting demonically, wouldn't we?"  
"Perhaps the transfer didn't work so well." The security chief said, "Perhaps Guachi only has control when you sleep." The three lined up against the wall went stiffly quiet. They looked at each other, and no one was arguing with being in chains anymore.

"So, here we are all under wraps. What's the second problem you mentioned?" The attorney in the line up gulped.  
"I'm still battling with the first one." Darkwing shot him a pointed look.

"The second problem," the master vampire continued, "Is that evidence of possession is evidence of a medium. Gentlemen, we have a rogue Necromancer in St Canard. This person took control of each of you for a brief period of time, and forcefully transferred Guachi into one of you."  
"So there's only one of us that's been hijacked by Guachi then; that's a relief." Darkwing Duck stated. "We can get back to the Necromancer later."  
"Eenie meanie miney moe?" The fire-fighter beside Darkwing spoke up, simply fighting off his nerves. He had a rather soft voice, despite his height and sturdy build. Tall and timid.

"Guachi, in its esteemed wisdom, picked a vampire to hide in as a vampire can fit seamlessly into the kine's world like no other beast could." The head vampire explained, "However there is a trick with vampires that the Guachi does not know about, a fact of our existence or a 'failing' if you like, for if Guachi had known, it would not have chosen a vampire host. Three guesses as to what it is?"

Darkwing gulped, realising that the head vampire was licking her beak, savouring everyone's emotions including his own.

"Aw, come on now, boys. Take a guess."

'Trick of the light.' The idea hovered in Darkwing's mind, unspoken. The head of GVSN fixed her eyes on Darkwing, and then in turn stared at the lawyer.  
"Food." The lawyer offered. "The Guachi would eat something different than what a vampire traditionally does."  
"That's a good try. Wrong, but a good effort. Darkwing?"  
"I don't get it." He shrugged. "How can light help?"

"Well, we can 'shed' some light on that answer. Shall we, chief?"  
"Certainly, master." Darkwing cringed as with a flick of a switch in the darkness, the beam of a large searchlight hit him in the face, keeling him over in pain. The light dimmed to half strength. Darkwing blinked again and again. Slowly some of his sight returned.

"I suppose you want to go home." The master vampire said quietly beyond the glare. "This all is a bit too much." Darkwing stood back up, shielding his eyes from the horrid light.  
"... I'd rather ... we got this ... solved." He struggled with the words as if something was smothering his lungs. The other thought in his head was really that he in fact did want to be at home, away from this scrutiny ... sharpening the last of his kitchen knives. Gosalyn had interrupted him, and they all could be just that little bit sharper ... His stomach turned. "What's ... the deal ... with the light still being on?"

"Behind you," said the voice of the security chief. Darkwing turned to the cement wall behind him. That wasn't his shadow! Where was his shadow? The lawyer's shadow was fine, and so was the fire-fighter's. But instead of his familiar shadow, was this monstrous looming lump of a thing with long spidery fingers.

"The light helps because the Vespers that live in a vampire do not protect the host from other invaders."  
The security chief apologised from behind the light beam. "The master already checked on me. I'm really sorry, Darkwing."  
"It's the first time I heard of it." Darkwing flinched as the security chief drew even closer. "Oh. 'Sorry'. I get it now." He backed up against the wall, and his fellow law enforcer was the faceless silhouette in front of the light, advancing on him.

Darkwing gulped, "Not that I'm complaining, mind, but if the Master was chasing the Guachi, shouldn't it be her that does this?"  
"Except I'm the one who caught you. And no way are we setting you free like this."  
Darkwing steeled himself. "Got it."

* * *

_'Gosalyn!'_

_Gosalyn blinked over at her dad, 'Don't tell me you have a problem, dad.'_  
_He twitched, 'more to the point will Ms Songson have a problem?' _  
_'It's not like she isn't prepared for it. I've been her student all year. Sheesh, I think you're more squeamish than she is.'_

* * *

Darkwing felt a horrid otherness struggling into power as his own energy left him. It overthrew his control.

Just as the security officer pulled back, Guachi pushed forwards with a scream, seizing the GVSN employee by the throat.

Through Darkwing, it spoke. "Thanks, ever so much. I couldn't get a word in edgewise over that spirit. He didn't even notice me, that ... uck, self-righteous fiend." The officer gagged in response. Guachi threw him back. "Ah, yes." Guachi purred darkly in the crime fighter's voice and spoke the head vampire's name like saying it gave it more power and strength.

"Hey, you know what? In my spare time when I'm not killing, I think I'll take up singing. What a nice voice I have."  
The head vampire just stood there and smiled at Guachi. "You've got an energy drained body, Guachi; it's going to wear out very quickly."

Guachi snapped through the shackles. All the little vampires shrank far out of the way, even the head vampire took a step back.

"I thought this was the best pick of the four!" Guachi crowed thinking this was all such a lark. "All cower in fear of me!" Guachi swirled the cape and laughed maniacally in Darkwing's dark voice.

"Not me, Guachi. Never would I cower to the likes of you." Who was the owner to that gravely voice?

Guachi scanned the room using Darkwing's sonar power.

* * *

_'Since when is sonar a power?' Drake interrupted._

_'Shush, dad!' Gosalyn told him off, 'I'm telling this story!'_

* * *

"An Ergowth?" Guachi said, looking down at the short goblin-like demon in the monk's robe, "I remember when your race was our servants, before you aligned yourselves with the darkness, with the vampires."

"Guachi never were the best observers." The Ergowth tapped the bottom end of his staff on the ground.  
"Bah." Guachi crossed his arms. "I was installed into this body by a Necromancer."  
"And it is a Necromancer that should remove you."  
"I am fused to the body."

"You forget it is a vampire's body. That was why you could not eliminate Darkwing's spirit. Even now he lurks behind you, waiting, fighting."  
"Look, what is your point already?" Guachi gritted.  
"This is!" The Necromancer pointed the staff at Guachi, and everything went black.

* * *

_'Stop, Gosalyn!' Drake stood up, still holding onto his cushion. 'Please stop there.'__  
_Gosalyn stared up at him. 'It really bothers you a whole bunch, huh?'_  
_Drake put the pillow back on the sofa. 'No, it's just boring. This story is meant to be about zombies; not about my little vampire dramas.'__

_'Right.' Gosalyn picked up her pencil, 'Little indeed.' She scoffed quietly.__  
_'Unimportant.' Drake corrected himself. 'Unimportant to the story of "Gosalyn Mallard Returns to Zombie Acres".'_  
_'Okay, dad.' Gosalyn crossed out the next few lines, 'How about I put it in a neat summary then?'__

_'An excellent idea, Gos.' Drake sighed in relief and sat back down. 'Don't forget your drink.'_

_Gosalyn picked up her glass and took another slurp before she continued fixing up the next part of her story._


	5. Ch 2 P1 Darkwing's Defence

**GOSALYN MALLARD RETURNS TO ZOMBIE ACRES (By Gosalyn Mallard)**

* * *

CHAPTER TWO

* * *

**PART 1**

* * *

**Darkwing's Defence**

* * *

_'Chapter two.' Gosalyn declared, 'The plot takes a trip to Demented Ville with the return of Juan Ducker, Vampire Slayer at Large. Defeated by Darkwing Duck before, the slayer has returned from Britain and brings his short temper and questionable sanity with him.' _

* * *

_Gosalyn paused. 'What is Ducker's problem, anyway?'_

_'He believes beyond a shadow of a doubt that what he's doing is right.'  
__Gosalyn frowned, 'But dad, that's how you are. I'm talking about his disconnection problems, or whatever.'  
__'Remind me to give you another lesson in psychology once you've handed in this story. I'll go through all the various warped twists that misalign that guy's brain.'_

_'Great, dad!' Gosalyn beamed at him, 'I can't wait!' She looked down at her notes and continued to read what she'd written._

* * *

Ducker frowned as he replaced the now-cracked lamp on the table. "Some help you are." He dragged the Necromancer up from the ground and onto the leather couch.

"Ow." The Necromancer called Yamie rubbed his head. "What happened?"  
"You had Darkwing Duck in your control," Ducker seethed, "and you gave him away to a ..." Bile rose in Ducker's throat.

"Oh, sorry, are you placing an order?" Yamie asked dazedly, still rubbing his head, "I charge a small fortune for my services, however."

"I don't ..." Ducker rethought it. "Bring Darkwing Duck to me. I will pay you what you are owed if you can do it."

* * *

_'Bile, Gos?'_  
_'Way cool, huh?' She said enthusiastically. 'I learnt that in science class.'_  
_'More like gross.' Drake shrugged. 'So where are we up to?'_

* * *

_'Something taking control of Darkwing Duck unnerved him very much. He'd survived his ordeal at GVSN and with their help he was back in one piece again at reasonable vampire health. But, as if being a vampire at large wasn't enough for a fit of nerves, whatever had taken control of him was still out there uncaught._

_One thing that could be said for Darkwing Duck was that the same trick never caught him out twice in a row. Where his foes were dogmatic, Darkwing Duck was a maverick. Although sometimes even Darkwing Duck needed some outside help._

_So this was why Darkwing Duck was now standing in the S.H.U.S.H. main lab, pondering Doctor Sara Bellum's grasp on delta wave blocking devices. It was a great long lab too, with white walls mostly hidden by-.'_

* * *

_'Hidden by a passive term.' Drake interrupted. 'Oh, sorry, I said I wouldn't do that again.'_  
_'D'oh.' Gosalyn gritted, 'Who would've guessed I was such a passive person?'_  
_Drake chuckled. 'Try 'pine wood shelves and cupboards hid most of the white washed walls'.'_  
_'No alliteration allowed.' Gosalyn stated, 'I'll just call them "plain white walls".'_

_'But alliteration makes it more fun.'_

_Gosalyn sighed, 'Dad, I love you, but you can be such a geek sometimes'._

* * *

"Let me see if I understand you correctly, Darkwing," Doctor Bellum, dressed in her lab coat, stated from her lofty height. She had chocolate brown hair and if she was in the middle of an apocalypse she'd probably still be talking in a cheerful voice. "You want something that'll stop someone from controlling your mind?"

Darkwing Duck put a mental sling around his impacted ego. "Yes, yes, so my mind isn't as strong as I'd like it to be. Whose is?" He crossed his arms in self-defence; "Nobody's, that's who."  
Doctor Bellum tsked, and wandered off to rummage through her menagerie of inventions. "Sooner or later, Darkwing, you will have to face the fact that you simply cannot be perfectly indestructible. No, this isn't it."  
"I'll settle for incorruptible, but thanks for the advice. If someone controls me, the whole city is in danger ... Not to mention my reputation … or what little there is of it." He added, remembering that most of St Canard's residents didn't know that he ever existed; much to his downcast acceptance.

Bellum pulled out a set of earphones from a drawer. "Well, try these."

Darkwing put them on and concentrated on Doctor Bellum. There was no longer the whirring hum of her thoughts, calculating this and contemplating the use of that. She was just standing there looking back at him. It was almost like he was a duck again.  
"Of course, they're not properly tested, so-."  
"Oh, they work perfectly," Darkwing felt like one of his senses had been muffled, "Can you turn it up or down? For stronger waves, you know?"

A confused look fell across the good doctor's facial features. "No, that should block all Delta wave passage between you and the world."  
"By that you mean it also works against my own Delta waves. Okay, that's not really an issue I guess. Thanks, Doctor Bellum." He replaced his hat over the top of the headset. "Now I can get to the bottom of this case without worrying."

* * *

_Drake started chuckling, 'I love this next bit.'_  
_'Shh, dad, you're supposed to be pretending like you're the enrapt audience who doesn't know.'_

* * *

_'The next afternoon, one ten year old Gosalyn Mallard looked into the kitchen and beyond the little round wooden kitchen table was her dad at the sink. Today Drake Mallard was chopping up some vegetables with headphones on. Gosalyn again found herself disturbed for the second encounter with her dad in so many days.'_

"Oh no, Megavolt and Quackerjack haven't brainwashed you again, have they?"

"No, not this time, sweetie." He patted her head as he passed her and started emptying the fridge out onto the kitchen table. "Are you going to help me make dinner or are you just going to stand there looking suspiciously at me all afternoon?"  
She shrugged. "Sure, I have no problems either way, dad." She responded; the threat of non-action was easy to go through with. "Just tell me ... who gave you the earphones?"  
"Doctor Bellum. It's a new invention of hers. Now, are you going to help me get dinner ready?"

Gosalyn considered the matter with due consideration as her father waited with an abundant patience.

* * *

_'Gosalyn.'_

_Gosalyn paused in her reading, looking up at her dad, 'Yeah, dad?'  
__'Abundant? While I appreciate the obvious compliment, I have to disagree.'_

_'I think you've got great patience, dad.' Gosalyn answered, 'You're heaps more patient than I am. If I was in your spot I'd probably be trying to shuffle my kid along while she was thinking. Right now I'd probably be handing her the vegetable peeler going: "Here kid, while you figure out what you want to do with your life why don't you peel this spud?" Plus since you got turned into a vampire you've slowed down heaps from before.'_

_'Glad you don't think it's old age catching up with me at least,' Drake folded his arms.  
__'With the abundant patience of a vampire.' Gosalyn corrected her sentence with her pencil. 'There. Bit better, dad?'  
__'Much so,' he answered, 'Although it's still a bit unbelievable.'_

_'Well,' Gosalyn smiled cheekily, 'I could have stretched my memories just that little bit in favour of a more dramatic statement.'  
__'Okay! Gosalyn, I'll take the compliment.'  
__Gosalyn sighed in relief. 'With the abundant patience of a vampire.' In her seat at the coffee table, she wriggled to get more comfortable._

_'Here, have another cushion.' Her father handed her an extra pillow and Gosalyn rearranged her seat.  
'Thanks, dad. Ahem, now where was I?'_

* * *

_"Alright," Gosalyn went to the sink to wash her hands. "I better keep an eye on you, what with those razor sharp knives in the drawer, anyway. It's anybody's guess what you'll get up to with them."_

_"Don't worry; I don't plan on being possessed again … not for a while, anyway."  
__"Whoa, you're not kidding me, dad, you don't want to risk it when Morgana's coming over for tea." Gosalyn grabbed a roasting tray while her father put his attention on the vegetables. She checked the oven was preheating, and then pulled out the meat from the fridge._

_"Yuck."_

_Gosalyn looked up at her dad and the look of horror on his face was a real picture. "My dad: St Canard's terrifying vegetarian at large."  
__He didn't respond for a few minutes, and went back to peeling vegetables. "I'm not sure I'd quite qualify as a vegetarian. Bushroot might be insulted."  
_

_"Then again, he does manage to put up with a lot."  
__"What do you mean, Gos?"  
__"Vegetarians are like vegetable vampires. Can't you imagine how he must feel every time Bushroot walks past a fruit market?"  
__"I guess not?" Drake wasn't sounding very certain over what Gosalyn was talking about.  
__Gosalyn snorted. "And I guess that's why the world needs vampire hunters."  
__"Gos, I'm not understanding."_

"Vampires make the rest of us appreciate what it feels like to be on the menu again."  
"Gosalyn," Drake said in a faint voice, "You are not on the menu."

"We could always go tofu." Gosalyn mixed up the dressing and started scoring the top of the meat.  
"No, you're a growing child. You need more meat, not dry wall."  
"Thanks, dad," she smiled up at him, and then turned to the oven.

"I keep telling myself that over and over," Drake added more to himself, "or I'd keel over from the smell of it. Careful!"

Gosalyn turned around, in the middle of donning oven-mitts and shot him a warning glare about treating her like she was too little.

"Sorry."

Gosalyn put the roast in the oven and put the timer on.

"Have you got the right ...?"  
She turned around and fixed him with a fierce glare again. "You know, dad, Launchpad told me a story once. About springs. Did he tell you that one?"  
"No."  
"Well, I thought it was a very useful thing to know."  
"Really?"  
"Yes, dad. Children are like springs. If you push down hard enough you loose control and they hit you in the eye. Or something. Anyway you should ask Launchpad."

"Okay, sweetie." Drake tumbled the vegetables into the giant steamer on the stove.

"Now," Gosalyn added stuck in lecturing mode, "I even know that you're going to overcook them, putting them in at the same time as the meat."  
"Aha!" He turned the hotplate on to low. "Something you didn't know. I have this all planned out." He turned back to her. "My timing is down to a D." Gosalyn couldn't help giggling as she grabbed some cutlery for the table.

"Way to go, dad."

* * *

_Gosalyn stopped reading and yawned. 'So then a whole bunch of boring stuff happened with Morgana and Drake and dinner happened. It was so boring it didn't even make it into the case file.'_

_'Gosalyn, sweetie.' Drake frowned at her, 'Most girls like that romantic stuff. It'd make your story more appealing to your teacher if you put it in.'  
__'Forget that!' Gosalyn grumbled, 'This is Gosalyn Mallard's story. And in this story I was bored. And in real life when it happened I was bored. And as I do when I usually get bored, I-.'_

_'Get into trouble post haste.'_

_'And that's what happened.' Gosalyn declared, 'I, Gosalyn Mallard, on my best behaviour and with that most noble of intentions to occupy myself in a safe and secure environment went down to the alleged "kid safe" venue known in wide circles as the video arcade.' She took a breath, 'And that's when chapter two came out to get me.'_


	6. Ch 2 P2 The Hole in the Plot

**GOSALYN MALLARD RETURNS TO ZOMBIE ACRES (By Gosalyn Mallard)**

* * *

CHAPTER TWO

* * *

**PART 2**

* * *

**The Hole in the Plot**

* * *

"Yes! Level 9! Gosalyn Mallard once again defeats the intergalactic Nogoods!"

Ten seconds later, a space yowie caught her last ship. She dug into her pockets. "Nuts, I need more change." Gosalyn turned around from the video arcade game.

"You!" She squawked at the duck standing there, recognising him instantly, "Back off, Ducker."  
"Oh, it's Gosalyn. I knew you looked familiar. I certainly recognise your voice."  
She crossed her arms. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, looking for someone just like you. In fact, I'm in luck that it is you." Gosalyn opened her beak to call out for help, but he clamped his hand over it. "Nothing personal, Gosalyn, It's not your fault your father's a blood-thirsty vampire." Ducker shoved her into a dome shaped wire bird carrier one size too small for her. He lobbed the cage into the back seat of his car at the curb and slammed the door.

He got into the driver's seat. "I just need your help. That's all."  
"You're crazy, and I'm not going to do anything you want me to do." Gosalyn considered the lock on the cage. After a while, she'd be able to unlock it with one of the wires she kept handy in her pencil case.  
"Just sit tight. You'll bring him right to me."

Gosalyn gulped. If this guy had been a vampire, her solution would've been an easy one. As it was, she was helpless for ideas at the moment. She dug into her pencil case thinking escape was the best solution ... and then she hesitated. She realised that Ducker would simply kidnap some other kid. It didn't matter if it was Gosalyn or not; if a rescue needed to happen then Darkwing Duck would make sure it happened.

Gosalyn shoved the pencil case back into her bag with an angry grunt. "Alright, Ducker, you lunatic. You win." Besides, with Gosalyn at the scene, she considered, she might even be helpful to Darkwing in the situation. Or at least she'd never be useless; she knew that.

* * *

Shortly Ducker had parked in a resident car park beneath an old apartment block in west end. He hoisted Gosalyn's cage out of the back seat and they went up into a run down apartment that smelt like mould and stale cigarettes. He put her cage on a water damaged chipboard coffee table beside a cracked lamp and went through into the next room.

The room Gosalyn was in was a huge lounge room. The wallpaper was a really gross floral pink and looked like it had been there for a hundred years. The carpet rug was Persian and maybe it'd been nice once upon a time, but now it was just a breeding ground for dust mites and cockroaches. There were a couple of pine wood crates for extra seats in the far corner. For anybody wanting to look at something without getting sick the leather couch was looking a bit too nice like stolen goods. The fireplace was okay too. It was made out of dark brown bricks and it reminded Gosalyn that her dad would never have a fireplace like that. It was too dangerous for little girls. Gosalyn sighed. Of all the trouble she got into, Pyromania was at the bottom of her list.

Her ears pricked up as Ducker's voice rose in the next room.

"What do you mean, you 'can't find him', Yamie? He's out there. He is always out there."  
"Well, I ..."  
"Never mind," Ducker dismissed, "I've got bait for our missing vampire."  
"Bait?" The person called Yamie trailed on Duckers heels as they walked into the room with Gosalyn.

"A late night video arcader," was how Ducker introduced Gosalyn.  
"Really, I don't think she's his type. Darkwing prefers criminals, and very few vampires are sick enough to ..."  
"He'll try to rescue her, you fool!" Ducker hissed. That's when point blank, you do your thing. You should be able to manage that, yes?"  
"I don't ..." Ducker glared at him, "er, yes. Of course."

While Gosalyn did not like the sound of 'you do your thing', she noticed the Yamie person, whoever he was, breathed a sigh of relief once Ducker had left the room. Gosalyn realised that there was dissent in the ranks and that this was her opportunity to really upset Ducker's applecart.

"Psst, what's your name?" Gosalyn asked him quietly.  
Yamie just stared at her.  
"I'm Gosalyn. Why do you take it from that guy?"  
Yamie went to look out the window for a moment.  
"He's shorter than you are." Gosalyn pointed out, "He's just good at shouting and acting bossy."  
"Stop talking." Yamie frowned at her. "You're distracting me."  
"But ... uh this thing you're going to do, you don't think you can do it, anyway, right?"  
"Confidentially, no. There's some sort of block up; I should be able to take control of the vampire. Something doesn't make sense."

She gulped. This was the part when Gosalyn realised this was a Necromancer she was dealing with. Adding Juan Ducker crazed vampire slayer and Gosalyn was sure Darkwing Duck really needed her help.

"Why do you do this stuff? Take control of people?"  
"Well, it's my job."  
"There's a Necromancer that works at GVSN too. He helps people to get better."  
"Necromancy deals with death!" Yamie rounded on her with a dangerous glint in his eyes. "If I used my power on you, you would die."

Gosalyn tried to back up in the tiny cage to put a little more distance between her and the crazy person she couldn't reason with. "Whoa, I just thought you might like some company. Sorry."

What was worse than being stuck in a room with him was that she couldn't even try to break the lock on her prison. There was only one other option. She curled her arms around her knees.

Yamie paced back from the window to her. "Now what are you doing?" He asked in annoyance.  
Gosalyn sniffled. "I want my dad." She sobbed, tears in her eyes.

* * *

_Gosalyn paused in her reading. 'How did you know to look for me, dad? I've forgotten.'_

_'Aha!' Drake grinned in triumph, 'it was actually a good display of security chief-the GVSN's security chief's deductive skills. You see, he could sense Yamie looking for me, and that you were with him, disrupting his concentration, and so he went looking for me. But since I had the Delta wave headphones on, he couldn't find me directly.'_

_Gosalyn frowned, 'yeah, so?'__  
_'So? Gosalyn, how do you find someone that's invisible?'_  
_Gosalyn paused. 'You look for the indent they're making on the carpet and stuff.'_  
_'In this case, I was still at home talking with Morgana meaning I was making an indent on her delta waves. So you see I'm not hard to find even when I am lost.'_  
_'Do vampires ever get lost?'_  
_'Not_ _geographically; or at least, not for very long anyway.'__

* * *

"Come on!" Darkwing shook the GSVN security chief as they travelled on foot. "You've got to hang in here. I need your help to find her."

"I can sense that Necromancer, he's really looking for you. If you take those headphones off, you're finished."  
"Thanks for the advice. Now, what direction?"  
The chief pointed up at the windows of the third storey of the building in front of them. "Let me remind you that the Necromancer overtook four of us before."

"But this time he's got Morgana here and Master Juck back at headquarters as well."  
"Sure hope that's enough."  
"Are we really not enough?" Morgana spoke up from behind, "Dark?"  
"We're fine, Morgana." Darkwing stopped, looking at the security chief, "Apart from me, has anyone ever told you that your enthusiasm is underwhelming, chief?"  
"I'm just sick of his mind seering over me. It stings, and it's getting to me."  
"Yeah?" Darkwing replied, undaunted, "Well, then it's time to get dangerous."

* * *

"Don't ... cry." Yamie said in disbelief.

"But I don't want anyone to get hurt!" Gosalyn asked desperately, "Isn't there another way to solve this?"  
Yamie considered this for a long moment. "No." He answered flatly.

"I am the terror that flaps in the night."  
"Where are you?" Yamie the Necromancer tried to grab hold of the mind sending out the voice but he was out of luck.  
"Over here, chump." Darkwing jumped down from the windowsill. "Think I'm fool enough to translocate with you around?" He stopped at the cage. I've even come prepared." He drew out a blowtorch and melted the lock on the cage. He pulled it open and Gosalyn crawled out and into his arms.

"There you are; everybody's safe now."

"Think again." Ducker kicked the door open, and aimed his crossbow at Darkwing.  
"You know, I'm feeling a little prosecuted without probable cause here." Darkwing commented, ready to jump clear of Ducker's arrows.  
"Take control over him, Yamie." Ducker ordered.  
"I've got Delta headphones, like your earplugs, Ducker. Nothing gets in; nothing gets out. It's actually pretty peaceful." Darkwing simply stood there, holding on to Gosalyn.

"You mean you can't use mind control with it on?"

"So it's not my fault!" Yamie exclaimed.  
"Oh, shut up, Yamie. You would use a little girl to protect yourself, Darkwing?"  
"I don't need protection." Darkwing responded. "Not when I have backup." The next instant the security chief of GSVN had translocated in with Morgana. She cast a force field spell on Yamie and the security chief of GSVN had Ducker.

"Yamie, stop them, you useless-."  
"Nobody ever appreciates me." Yamie grumbled. "Even that Guachi stiffed me on the down payment. My staff got stolen in Britain ... I hate everyone."

Darkwing put Gosalyn on the floor and watched the others all leave with Yamie and Ducker for GVSN. "I'm glad you're alright." He pulled off the headphones. His hat went flying across the room. "Come on, I need to return these to Doctor Bellum."

"I thought you said it was peaceful."  
"Missy, I much rather know where my daughter is and what she's up to."  
Gosalyn gulped. "You mean ..."  
"That I know that you sneak out of the house on school nights to the video arcade?"  
"Uh ... heh, yeah."  
"Or that you're responsible for what happened at the ..."  
"Dad! Please." Gosalyn went red in the face.  
"Why'd you think I didn't tell you everything about the headphones?"  
"I don't know; they are pretty emo." She picked up his hat. He took it and put it back on his head. "Maybe I could use them." She grabbed the headphones and put them on her head. "Are they working?"

Darkwing frowned at Gosalyn and held out his hand. "Ahem?" She scrunched up her face and gave him back the headphones reluctantly.

"You know I just want you safe, sweetheart."  
"Yeah, I know, dad. But I'm going to remember where to go if I need them."  
"That's what I want to hear from my good little girl." He beamed at her.  
"Good work with Yamie, by the way. Thanks to you, we didn't need to call in reinforcements. Now, Master Juck and Yamie can reason out on peaceful terms, talk it out. Hopefully."

"Deep down, I'm sure he's a nice guy. Everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt."  
"Like I said, good work." He hugged her again and moved towards the window.  
"That does explain why you were so cranky," Gosalyn mused as she followed him. He took her hand, and they disappeared into the shadowy night.

* * *

_'And so ends chapter two.' Gosalyn narrated, 'Yamie was in custody, Ducker was in custody, Guachi was long finished and all was right in St Canard._

_'Or, at least, that's what Gosalyn and her dad thought at the time. But they were wrong. You see, there was a hole in the plot and chapter three was on a slow cook like Drake Mallard's vegetables. It was so slow that neither the impatient Gosalyn nor her slightly-more-patient-than-her dad saw it coming._

_'The hole, of course was the great vampire support network themselves. For you see, a support network, even of the vampire variety, does not a security system make. While retrospect is a great thing, at the time Gosalyn and her dad just assumed a league of vampires could contain a__"nutty Necromancer" and a__"screwball slayer"__as Darkwing described them in his case notes. But GVSN was not S.H.U.S.H. and Gosalyn and her dad were yet to discover this fact.'_


	7. Ch 3 P1 A Castle Sketch

**GOSALYN MALLARD RETURNS TO ZOMBIE ACRES (By Gosalyn Mallard)**

* * *

CHAPTER THREE

* * *

**PART 1**

* * *

**A Castle Sketch**

* * *

_Drake frowned, 'But meanwhile we got on with our lives for a few days.'_

_'Yes.' Gosalyn stated, 'Before things got out of hand again, Gosalyn and Drake Mallard had a few regular ordinary day life things to get on with. But let's not get into all that, we're two chapters down and there hasn't been a single onscreen zombie yet.'  
__'What?' Drake exclaimed, sitting back and folding his arms. 'The single best moment that happened to me in my whole year and you want to skip over it!'_

_Gosalyn paused, 'Alright, alright, dad, I'll see what I can do.' She tapped her pencil end against her beak as she thought about how to start the next chapter._

* * *

_'In the secret hideout of the great protector of St Canard, all was quiet. A little too quiet for Launchpad McQuack's liking. The seasoned pilot of mad-stunt renown came over from polishing the supercool ThunderQuack to see what his crime fighting companion was up to and discovered Darkwing Duck sitting at his desk. Sitting. Quietly. A little too quietly.'_

From over the caped hero's shoulder Launchpad looked at the small box in Darkwing's hands. "Gee, DW."  
Darkwing snapped the ring box shut and turned around to Launchpad. "I was concentrating."  
"That sure is a pretty ring."

Darkwing softened and reopened the box. Tiny diamonds sparkled in the lighting. "They come in pairs." He snapped the box shut. "I've gone and bought it, but I can't ask Morgana."  
Yep, Launchpad had discovered a real job for him here. "But you love her enough to buy it."  
"Yes, I do love her, but what if she says no?" Darkwing's voice rose to a squeak, he clasped his hat to his head in horror. "I'll be ruined." He shuddered. "It'll finish me. You'll have to sweep me off the floor when you're finished and what about poor Gosalyn? She needs me."  
"Oh, come on, DW, there's no reason to panic. It can't be that serious." Launchpad said kindly.  
"It is for a vampire. Which I happened to have recently become."

"Well, uh, what if she says yes?"  
Darkwing paused for a long moment to think on that one. "No; I'm more worried about the 'no' option."  
"Morgana seems like a reasonable person, DW. Chances are; you've figured that out too."  
"Yeah, but her father isn't. I'm not marrying him, but she might listen to him over me."

Launchpad paused, "So that's why you wanted to go to the castle for dinner tonight. You're going to ask him before you ask her."  
"Naturally," Darkwing answered, "And one thing's for certain ... I'm not looking forward to it."  
Launchpad sighed, "Glad to be giving this one a miss."

* * *

_Gosalyn paused in her pencilling to look up at her dad on the sofa, 'has anyone told you how old-school you are, dad?'  
__Drake shrugged. 'I look at it from my own perspective as a parent. I'd like to have some input on your suitors.'_

_'Funny, considering what you told him what he could do with his input.' Gosalyn snorted.  
__'Manners!' Drake grumbled, 'There's a fine line between being reasonable and ... well, not being so reasonable.'_

* * *

_'It wasn't long before Gosalyn Mallard and Darkwing Duck were over in the monster realm with Morgana visiting her family at the super creepy Macawber castle._

_'You'd really think Darkwing would fit into a place like this, you'd think someone who prowled the streets at night scaring the be-jeepers out of hardened criminals would have a lot in common with a high and mighty warlock like Moloculo Macawber. But as they say in the world of proverbs "familiarity breeds contempt" and who knows how or why, but they found a lot they didn't like about themselves in him._

_'Being the master of psychological warfare, Darkwing Duck knew all this already but in this case, forewarned was not forearmed. No matter how crafty, no matter how careful Darkwing planned his moves, he had an Achilles heel and it always saw him putting his foot in his beak. So, in the busy bustling castle they sat at the long wooden dining table. The banquet included lots of cool monster food like slug stew and squirming worm salad, eyeball casserole and sauté snake strips.'_

* * *

_Gosalyn paused, 'what was it you tried, dad?'_

_'The sauté snake,' he answered, 'I'd tried Morgana's cobra cutlets before so I thought I was pretty safe.'  
__Gosalyn rolled her eyes. 'You know that Morgana's gone real easy on the spices ever since I told her what your big deal with it was.'_

* * *

_'Vampire or not there was one thing about Darkwing Duck that had remained the same. All around him at the long formal dining table two-headed cousins and giant uncles were scoffing down their eerie treats. As for Mr Bland the Vampire himself, he was suffering through yet another culinary tasting ordeal. It seemed to him as though all of Aunt Nasty's dishes were served with a saucy topping of white hot pepper or burning chilli.'_

* * *

_Drake sighed, 'Yep.'_

* * *

Darkwing squirmed on his seat, sweating from the mouthful of sauté snake he'd tried. "That's ... a bit spicy." His eyes watered, his insides were on fire.

"Normals," Aunt Nasty, sporting a classic witch look with her straw-coloured hair under an old black hat, huffed and turned away from him. Darkwing coughed and he felt his throat burning. From Herb Muddlefoot's jaw-cracking coconut burgers to Aunt Nasty's hot chilli dishes, social dinners for Darkwing the vampire were not much fun.  
"Here, Dark, have some ghoulade." His girlfriend Morgana offered helpfully.  
Darkwing grabbed the glass from Morgana and upended the red liquid down his gullet. He panted, trying to cool his burnt tongue.

"Not too bad?" Morgana looked at him hopefully.  
He looked down at the empty glass, "Yeah."

* * *

_Gosalyn paused, 'What was that whole scene with you and Aunt Nasty about? I was busy talking with cousin Globby.'_

_'I don't know; it's not important.' Drake answered, 'it was one of my classic candid comments that usually get me into trouble and Aunt Nasty took offence. Before I knew it I had taken offence too and then ipso facto it was nothing to do with her and all just me wrestling my inner vampire.'_

_'So,' Gosalyn started writing again, pencilling her thought as she spoke, 'After a short heated discussion about the spicy nature of the food with Morgana's Aunt, Darkwing's stomach threatened to put an end to the argument for them. A vampire but not too short in social duck etiquette, Darkwing grabbed a second decanter of ghoulade from his girlfriend and gulped it down._

* * *

_'Now, Darkwing Duck was really worried. He'd already had a run in with his temper and he hadn't even spoken to Morgana's father yet.'_

He handed the empty jug back to Morgana. "Thanks, Morg." he smiled at her, and then turned away. "Master Moloculo Macawber?" He addressed Morgana's father as politely as he could, "I was wondering if I could have a word with you?"

* * *

_'Maybe you should take a break.' Drake suggested; it's getting late ...'_

_'No way, dad, I'm onto something!' Gosalyn rejected, 'So Darkwing and Moloculo walked into Moloculo's office and the door closed behind them and Gosalyn, having not been quite quick enough to get through, resigning herself to listening with her ear slit pressed up against the door.'  
__'You do that a lot I notice.'_

_'People shouldn't close doors on me.' Gosalyn retorted._

* * *

Darkwing asked the fateful question. "Master Macawber. I want to tell you that I'm planning to ask your daughter to marry me."  
"You, a normal! You want to marry my daughter?" Gosalyn heard the sound of lightning flying.  
"I thought it was correct to inform you of my intentions first." Darkwing replied as though a bolt of lightning hadn't just hit him. "And I am not normal."

"So, you are not asking my permission, you are telling me, and it matters not what my wishes are."  
"It's her life. Her decision." Darkwing told him off.  
"Get out of my castle!" Moloculo roared.

"I thought you might say something like that."

Gosalyn stepped away from the door in time for Darkwing to come breezing out. Darkwing Duck grabbed her up into his arms and headed straight for Morgana having tea with the others in the sitting room.

"I have to leave now." He told Morgana, "Are you coming?"  
"What, already? I was just ..."  
"Okay, sweetie-pie." He kissed her fingers. "Have a good night. I'll see you later."

* * *

_'Great form, dad.'  
'The most important thing in life is to try, Gosalyn.'_

* * *

_'We can only speculate what happened next at Castle Macawber after Darkwing and Gosalyn made their speedy exit.' Gosalyn declared, 'But it probably went something like this.'_

"Morgana." Her father ushered her into the drawing room. "I want to talk to you about where you are going with this ... city boy." He looked at her with protective affection. "I want you to consider getting serious with your life. Finding a proper monster to settle down with, raise a family of your own little ghouls. Will you achieve that with this ... bleargh?" Her father grimaced. "Think about it, I know you've told me before about telling you what to do. But I want you to consider it properly."

* * *

_Drake sighed, his head in his hands and his elbows on his knees. 'That sounds about right, Gos. Although you could probably just ask Morgana. I only wish I knew how I could do better.'_

_'Cheer up, dad, the hard part's is over.'  
'That's true.' He answered. 'Depending on how you look at it, of course.'_  
_'I'm looking at it from my point of view.' Gosalyn answered, 'All the normal stuff is over.'_  
_'Not all of it.'_  
_'We'll see.' Gosalyn answered._  
_'Bed time now, Gos, tackle the rest tomorrow.'_  
_'But dad,' Gosalyn yawned, 'I still haven't gotten to the zombie part.'_  
_'Then you have a lot to look forward to tomorrow.' He took her pencil from her and Gosalyn got up off her cushions and got ready for bed._


End file.
